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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

LESSON THREE


Why Every Woman Needs a Needle


I’ve heard it said (and believe) that tools make a man sexy. I was wondering the aisles of Home Depot with my list from Karen’s Tool Time Tuesday blog. My 90 year old mother was by my side. I like to take her on outings with me. She gets along quite well (no walker, no cane) and she enjoys the outings.

We were in one of the aisles looking for the first item on the list when I noticed a man standing there with an orange bucket in one hand and pawing through some long plastic tubes. He looked like he’d trained with Special Forces. Biceps bulged from beneath his white tee shirt. Strong tanned legs sprung beneath his khaki Bermuda shorts. A tool belt hung from his narrow waist. Even took my breath away there for a minute. My mother, the biggest flirt of all time, sashayed right up to him, placed her hand on his broad shoulder and said, “Could you tell me where you got that bucket? My daughter is looking for one.”
.
He flashed my mother a million watt smile and said, “Follow me.” (Smile at me like that and I’ll follow you anywhere.) He turned a corner and then handed me an orange bucket. “Like this? “
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“Where’s the insert?” My mother I asked. “She needs the insert too.”
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He gave me a questioning look. “Insert?”
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“I…uh…” Imagine that, me tongue tied. “Uh..you know; the canvas kind with all those pockets.”
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“Oh, for your cleaning products.”
“Now there, young man,” my mother said as she inched herself closer to him. “Let’s not get
hasty with our thinking. It’s for quilting.”
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“Quilting?” He gave me a questioning look.
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I was on known territory here and said, “Those pockets are great for holding my rotary cutter, scissors, iron, templates, ruler, etc.”
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Amusement danced in big brown eyes. He then reached over my head and grabbed a small cellophane package. “Blue all right?”
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“She needs an eyeball too,” my mother said.
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“Uh, she mans eye bolt,” I explained. “Would you happen to know where they are?”
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“Just one?” he asked.
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I nodded.
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“It’s for holding her bobbins,” my mother announced.
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He rubbed his hand over his mouth as if trying to hide his grin, nodded and lead us down the aisle to a lot of bins holding all kinds of interesting things.
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After he handed me the eye bolt, I scanned the bins. “Are there any washers here?”
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He pointed to a bunch of boxes to the left. “Which size?”
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“One of each,” I said.
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The corners of his mouth twitched. “One of each size?”
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“They are for making circles for appliqué.” I looked around. “And I need a little hookie thing to keep them on. I think it’s called an eye ring…or is it an o ring. I don’t know. It’s like a key ring.“
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He scratched his head and thought for a minute. “How about we get a package of shower curtain pins.” he said, and headed for another aisle with us in tow.
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After scanning a wall holding another bunch of interesting things, he snatched a package and handed it to me. “Anything else?”
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My mother was standing off to one side clearly giving Mr. I-Know-Where-Things-Are the once over. Before she could say anything else, I said, “Thank you so much for all your help. I think we need to go to the paint department now. It’s over that way isn’t it?”
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He shook his head. “I gotta ask. What are you using the paint for?”
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“Oh, I just want to pick up a couple of those free paint sticks,” I said and almost added that they make my quilts lay flatter, but decided to withhold that information. “Thanks again for all your help.”
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His flashed a big grin, as though his perspective of me had changed. Maybe he wasn’t used to being thanked. “No problem,” he said. “I really should be thanking you. You taught me a lot today.”
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My mother stood and stared at him as he walked away. I took her by the arm and turned her toward the paint department. “He has a cute butt,” she said. “He caught me staring.” She giggled. “He has nice legs too.”
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After nearly choking on my surprise I nodded in agreement. I smiled at my mother, thinking about the things I have learned from her and all the things I had learned that day. Most importantly I learned that people are nice and helpful and that I felt empowered. Home Depot isn’t just a man’s world. It’s a great place for women too. (I wonder if a man thinks a woman with a needle is sexy.)
“The art of teaching is the art of assisting discovery”. - Mark Van Doren, poet

5 comments:

Lisa said...

ohmigosh, too funny! I knew I loved Home Depot, I just didn't really know why! ;)

Jane's Fabrics and Quilts said...

Oh thank you for making me giggle today!! lucky you to still have your dear sweet Mom!~!

Happy Cottage Quilter said...

Oh my goodness, I have laughed so hard! And at least you know one thing. Your Mom still got life in her :-)

Barbara said...

I think I would like hanging out with your mom. What a hoot. Thanks for sharing.

Julsie1231 said...

ha ha ha !!! I am laughing myself off my seat! Loved the story! You're never to old to LOOK! Well, as my husband tells me- " you can look, but no touchy touchy".

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Quilting Teachers at the shop.
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Quilts For Wheels
Many thanks and much appreciation goes to the women who work diligently each month to make quilts for those in wheel chairs. Kudos go to: Yvonne, Mary T., Fran, Joan, Mary Ellen, Barb, Lee Ann, Nancy, Mary.

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